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The mental health issue

February 16, 2021

I had forgotten that some people who had access to me started playing a game as if I were having mental health issues. Really? Why would that be? Well, those “mental health issues players” are desperate, financially broke people. They looked at me and decided I did not deserve to live the way I did even if they knew I had gone through extreme hardship for years and irreparable harm had been done to me. To be clear, none of them know much about me so much of their conclusions about me are just a product of their imagination. I wish I had the life they imagine I do. But, I used to talk to them. I used to exchange text messages with them. In those texts lies the proof of my statements. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist or a Sherlock Holmes to see. It got really, really ugly. In a few instances, with people I did not know that decided to play that game, it got to be real bad comedy.

Now, in the midst of a pandemic, mental health issues are being exacerbated. We can’t really see the end of it. On the positive side, there are the vaccines, albeit slow. On the negative side, there are these new strains. Health care professionals and doctors are admitting that those new variants are stronger and more deadly and at least one – the South African – is more resilient to a vaccine.

Life has been on hold for a long time now. We tend to look for culprits. Whose fault is it? Why is this happening to us? And the weather has been brutal. That too, doesn’t help. I just saw two renowned people talking about a dark spring if we don’t keep being vigilant and doing what we are supposed to do: wear two double masks, socially distance, don’t travel if you don’t need to, keep great hygiene.

And how do we survive economically? Yeah, some people are doing great. Others, not so much. Whose fault is it? I know for sure it is not mine. And it is not yours either. I do not have the answers. I keep appreciating Mother Nature knowing deep down in my heart we will come out stronger. In the meantime, there are so many misguided people and situations to deal with that it can make reality intolerable. Then, I know it is time to take deep breaths and if possible, meditate. In the great scheme of things, all is well. Once, the Dalai Lama said that the surface waters in the lake had been roughed up by the wind but deep down it was all tranquil, it was all serene. That’s my spiritual guidance.

02/16/21

10:29 AM  – Loud thumping noise. Whenever I found myself awake during the night, I kept hearing pacing heavily and thumping noises from the room next to mine. 

Given that last Friday I told Anthony, a staff member at the reception counter, that I am severely allergic to smoke inhalation and that I have cardio issues, two aspirins would make my body go into cardiac arrest, sending this misguided soul next to my room just proves their ill intentions. I can’t help concluding they are trying to kill me.

10:39 AM – A thudding noise from the room next door just now.

11:38 AM – The chilli winds advisory expired around 9 AM according to the weather forecast. However, light snow showers are expected around or past noon. I renewed my stay for another two nights and complained about the noise. I know it won’t help, it will actually get worse.

11:47 AM – More noises outside my room but it could be housekeeping. I am not inclined to check.

12:11 PM – Weird heavy noises outside, but suddenly ceased.

12:27 PM – A door banging noise – then children in the background….

12:46 PM – I just went to the bathroom to wash a fork. I turned the lights on. Noises came from the bathroom adjacent to mine as if someone was trying to make contact.

12:53 PM – I am sitting on a chair by my bed. A louder noise came from the corner of the 

bedroom wall where it meets the bathroom, The noise came from the bathroom next door.

12:58 PM – I called the United Nations / Refugee phone number. I told them I had contacted them twice via their website but had no answer. First, I said I have never had anything to do with drugs in my entire life. My medical records are somewhat public due to lawsuits. Then, I said I was being persecuted by drug sellers but I was recording everything both in writing via a public blog, in photos and video. 

01:08 PM – I left a message to myself explaining I was now going to contact criminal attorneys and state prosecutors. I said I was not the person these drug dealers thought I was but no amount of explaining on my part seemed to get through so I said I would fight my way.

01:19 PM – Though I am listening to something on Youtube, heavy noises continue outside my room.

02:29 PM – The noises have become more subtle – hard to record – but they are still there coming from the room next door.

10:33 PM – Late afternoon, I went to Wholefoods. It was the same old m.o. Some people posing as customers spying on real customers and sending text messages. 

Upon returning, it felt calm for a couple of hours but since about 7:30 or 8:00 PM, a drug seller keeps pacing heavily  outside – I will say she is doing the heel walk – at intermittent intervals but she is keeping a distance. My recorder would not be able to register the sound. Given that I said over the phone this afternoon I was recording everything, it makes sense she does not get close.

There is also that smell of a ten day left to rotten dead skank that invades the room… I just sprayed Fabreeze everywhere. Do they think that this smell is enticing? Some people do, I know. For me, it is: Yuck! Yuck! It makes me want to vomit! Are these people’s neurons all burnt? Probably….Can’t these people accept that it does not work for everybody? 

10:46 PM – As I was writing the paragraph above the heavy pacer misguided soul knocked on my door. I immediately called the reception desk. I said not only was I not opening the door but also I did not want anyone knocking on my door. Security called me back. Funny thing: security said they looked on the camera and no one knocked on my door. Why would I call you then? I told them I thought it was a drug dealer but I am not into drugs. The misguided soul walked away and has been quiet since but it has only been a few minutes.

11:28 PM – The misguided soul resumed the heavy pacing. More than a year ago, I talked to a police officer. The situation was already weird and he gave me a few tips on how to stay safe. One of his tips was: “Don’t ever let people get close to you. Don’t talk to them, walk away from them, keep them away from you.” At first, I found his advice awkward but I now realize it was invaluable. Thank you, officer!

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